Ten Things to Make Thanksgiving Day Much Better This Year
By now you are more than likely sick and tired of hearing about Thanksgiving and turkey, right? What is so great about a bird that when you cook it, it comes out dry on one side and moist on the other. How can one bird produce such a large variety of choices in one sitting?
If you love turkey or hate it, you are still going to eat it because it is Thanksgiving Day and that is what you do. You go to your relatives’ houses and eat food that you will only see once a year like cranberry dressing, green bean casserole, and about 15 different kinds of stuffing. Depending on your family and friends, Thanksgiving can be a long slog of a day. So we’ve developed this list of ways to entertain yourself and thus make your Thanksgiving much better this year. Enjoy.
10. Make Fun of Black Friday Shoppers
Maybe some of the women in your family are going to head down to the mall for Black Friday, and that is fine for them. But since it is a dangerous day to hit the streets, we had other ideas for Thanksgiving Day, make fun of them all. The night before Black Friday is going to have lines of people all over the place just waiting to get into that store. Grab the keys and your drunkest family member, and hit the road. If you can make a sheep sound, you are in luck.
9. Destroy Pumpkins That are Still Around
A lot of people love Halloween and they decorate for it with pumpkins that they put out on display. But then life happens and people forget about them and they wind up staying up long past their deadline. So grab a bat, tell the family you will be right back, and go outside and smash, smash, smash.
8. Bring a Smoking Hot Date
This one is for single people only because this isn’t Ashley Madison. If you’re significant other is smoking hot, that works too. Back to the single people reading this out there. If you are going to a family event, it is worth your time to bring the hottest person you can find. They will provide the family with much to discuss behind your back but, most importantly, that hot date will distract them from asking you about how your life is going.
7. Challenge Family to a Game of Football
Thanksgiving Day can be very long and boring especially when you go to a relative’s house. Instead of wasting the day away listening to tales of the good ole days, challenge the family to a little bit of football. The weather is normally beautiful during Thanksgiving and you can work off a lot of that alcohol you consumed the night before. Tackle or touch, it is up to you.
6. Bring Up Political Issues
If challenging the family to a game of football does not work out, you can always bring up political issues, that is always a great idea. Just be prepared for the backlash of explaining your views. Otherwise, you should probably just be quiet and sit in the background. Make sure to bring it up to that one family member that does not shut up about anything, that is the person you need to debate.
5. Pretend You Made Food That You Bought
Everyone brings food to Thanksgiving so why don’t you get the best of the best and pretend you made it? But you have to own it and know what you are bringing. Learn the recipe, the taste, and everything about it. Then have some fun with it.
4. Leftovers for Weeks
If you can be smart, eat wisely, and convince the rest of your family to eat less, you can secure a ton of leftovers for the next few weeks. If you think it is impossible to convince the family to eat less, bring a lot of alcohol.
3. Get Wasted
Speaking of bringing alcohol, one of the best parts about Thanksgiving Day is the ability to drink as much as you legally can without worrying about what anyone else thinks of you. If that isn’t good enough, it is time for a game. Start with a drinking game that is simple and easy to explain to old people, like quarters or beer pong. Beer pong is easy because you throw a ball in a cup. After a few drinks, even the worse players become legends. Or you can just keep it simple and take a shot every time you hear the word “Thanks” on TV.
2. Pretend the NFL is Important
The only people that care about watching football on Thanksgiving are in Detroit or Dallas. The rest of us are not used to watching our team play on Turkey Day as regularly as those two teams do so we have to force ourselves to change and enjoy it. We recommend pretending to enjoy the games even if you don’t care, as it’s a good way to avoid cooking or cleaning on Thanksgiving.
1. Take a Nap
Do not pretend you were not looking forward to the end of the day when you could crash and not be considered a loser. And it is all because Turkey has a natural sedative in it called tryptophan, an amino acid. Or is it? Studies suggested that this amino acid, which the body does not produce on its own, was to blame for being tired on Thanksgiving Day. However, it is not the true reason. Overeating is to blame for being tired on Turkey Day. So go grab you another plate and stuff yourself until you cannot walk anymore and go find yourself a good little spot in the house and close your eyes. Just make sure you don’t have any crazy cousins that have had a little too much to drink.