Six Real Life Grinches This Christmas
‘Tis the season to be jolly, however, not everyone will be making Santa’s “good” list this year. With Christmas just around the corner, real life Grinches are starting to appear, and while not all of them are actually “stealing” from you this Christmas, they all do their part to make someone else’s Christmas a little worse…
In Ohio, a man stole one of the Salvation Army kettles used to collect donations. The man had reportedly shouted that he hates Christmas during the theft before fleeing in a stolen truck, presumably to get back to his evil lair to devise more ingenious plots against Christmas.
In what could only be the beginnings of an elf uprising against their lord Santa, one elf, or at least a full-grown man dressed in an elf costume, waited in line to tell a mall Santa he was carrying dynamite. The mall was evacuated and once the bomb squads were called in, it was quickly determined that there was no dynamite and that the elf was just screwing with everybody. Nevertheless, that elf is now in jail. He should have known, nobody fucks with Santa.
A four-year-old drunk boy, who would have been totally adorable had he not been drunk and four-years-old, decided to break into his neighbour’s house to steal a dress from under the Christmas tree. He was eventually caught later wandering down a street wearing the dress and drinking his beer. While we would never condone underage drinking, we have to admit it is somewhat more adorable than a full-grown man breaking into a house and doing the exact same thing.
It’s all bargains down at Lloyd Platt and Co. as they’re now offering a divorce vouchers that are going for $455. A whole $185 cheaper then their normal rates! It seems bringing families together is one of those Christmas traditions going out of style because Lloyd Platt has already sold 60 of these vouchers. Oh well, at least there will still be presents, right?
Police have sent out to Christmas cards to suspected gun criminals’ relatives bearing the message “Gun crime always ends in tears, make sure they’re not yours”. Now, we’re all for lower crime rates, but to send something out like this during Christmas? Really? They might as well send out cards with the message “Your loved-one is going to die! Merry Christmas!”
Not everyone celebrates Christmas for religious reasons, we know that, but when an eight-year-old is suspended for drawing a picture of Jesus on the cross for being too “violent”, you can’t help but wonder if they took things too far. The children were asked to draw pictures that related to Christmas and the teacher, in all her wisdom, decided that the boy’s picture violated the school’s very strict no-violence policy, where the only remedy was to suspend the boy and send him for psychological evaluation. All this because he drew something that hangs off the walls of Churches, houses, and even some schools.