Five Insane Fan Art Fetishes
If you’ve spent more than five seconds on the Internet you’re well aware of the existence of all sorts of crazy fan art. Most infamous is the porn: Search the name of your favorite fictional character on Google Images, and we guarantee you’ll get at least one sexual result. Now, we can all appreciate the artistic value of Minnie Mouse performing oral sex on Donald Duck, but that’s just the beginning. Not only just content to destroy our childhood memories with mere hardcore sex, but it seems the fan art world has embraced a number of fetishes that, despite a lack of nudity, are somehow much, much more horrifying.
The amount of fan art dedicated to sex is endless, but rare is the artist that addresses the serious consequences of the unrestrained passion that two cartoon characters can show for each other. Sure, it may look like all fun and games when, for example, Mario and Princess Peach celebrate another defeat of Bowser by getting down and dirty, but have you ever paused and wondered what would come next? Of course not, because the idea is fucking disturbing. Luckily, the Internet is here to imagine what you dare not.
Either the artist of the above picture has no idea what pregnancy looks like, or Princess Peach is about to give birth to an exercise ball. And if you think that’s bad, keep in mind that characters don’t even need to be old enough to get pregnant to be depicted as such…
In fact, they don’t even need to be the right gender or species, as this drawing of a pregnant Sonic the Hedgehog shows us.
The miracle of life stands absolutely no chance against the perversion of the Internet. Let’s just be thankful no artists show the actual birt—
Have you ever watched a Disney movie and thought to yourself, “Gee, this princess is nice and all, but she would be a lot more attractive if she was morbidly obese”? No? Congratulations, you’re a normal person. Prepare to be grossed out by the following picture!
Most of us will look at that drawing and wonder what the point is, but a select few will be disappointed that Jasmine isn’t even fatter. Then they create something like this:
We realize that some people find larger women attractive, and that’s fine. But Tifa isn’t just a little chubby; she’s clearly in serious pain. Worst of all, the artist thought this came out “a bit too realistic,”; God only knows how horrifying the picture he originally envisioned was.
Just in case that still isn’t ridiculous enough for you, here’s a drawing of another character from Final Fantasy VII, Aeris, presumably depicting her after she ate the rest of the cast.
And of course, like any fetish, it’s not just limited to people; here’s Bambi as an overweight fawn.
Can you imagine how depressing all the Disney classics would be if their characters looked like this? Nothing ruins a musical number quicker than a heart attack.
In a reverse of the fat fetish, there are artists who like to draw characters that are insanely muscular. We don’t mean they’ve been lifting a lot of weights; these are pictures of people that have been on a steady diet of steroids since birth. And by this point, it should go without saying that the characters who get this makeover are the ones who look the weirdest with it. As proof, here’s Amy Rose, a Sonic the Hedgehog character, ready to kick some ass:
And have you ever wondered what Marge and Lisa Simpson would look like if they could beat the shit out of you?
Finally, since we’ve already ruined two Disney movies for you, we might as well go for a third:
We’re pretty sure Tinker Bell was already the toughest Peter Pan character to begin with, so we’re not really sure what this was supposed to accomplish.
Furries, as you’re probably well aware, are people who are really, really into anthropomorphized animals. But what you may not know is that they don’t just limit themselves to their own creations; pretty much every fictional character has had at least one furry makeover. For example, here are two classic Batman villains who have been given the furry treatment, and then likely used as a masturbation aid:
OK, so they’re now the least intimidating villains ever, but we guess they could give you fleas or something. Don’t despair though; the Caped Crusader is here to save the day!
You know what? It may look ridiculous, but we’d take, uh, whatever that is, over George Clooney’s portrayal of The Dark Knight.
1) Female Everything
If you read Gunaxin then you no doubt agree with our opinion on breasts: they’re pretty great. But there are some places where they just don’t belong. Some of you may say that’s blasphemy, and to that we reply with this picture of Pikachu about to bone some dude.
That drawing is a classic example of a fan art fetish that involves turning every male and nonsexual character into a woman. We don’t just mean making them look like girls as a light-hearted joke (there are tons of pictures like that, but they’re clearly just for fun); we mean there are people who try their best to make, say, Woody and Buzz Lightyear look seductive.
And of course, there’s no reason this fetish can’t be combined with any of the others on our list. This drawing of Harry Potter as a catgirl serves as an appropriately horrifying example.
Just what is it that makes people explore these insane fetishes? Some of them are clearly very talented artists, so why do they use their skills to give Luke Skywalker a coat of fur, an extra 300 pounds and a bun in the oven? After extensive research into the subject, we can safely say that we have absolutely no Goddamn idea. Here’s a picture of Master Chief with tits.