Top Ten Fictional Barbers

Most people never really stop and think about this, but if we had to pick a fictional barber to cut our hair, who would it be? Probably not anyone on this list, as these are perhaps the most famous fictional barbers but certainly not the best. Did we miss your favorite? Add him to the comments.

10

Doctor Dré & Ed Lover
Who’s the Man?

The ‘black barber’ phenom in film is typically a hit. This wasn’t the first nor the best but good enough for No. 10 on this list.

9

William “Bill” Fontaine De la Tour Dauterive
King of the Hill

It’s a stretch calling Bill a barber when all he really does is shave heads for soldiers in the army.

8

Bugs Bunny
Rabbit of Seville

Bugs Bunny is the one barber on this list I’d never want, as he completely destroys Elmer Fudd.

7

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake
Wrestling

One of the funniest gimmicks of any wrestler – once he wins, he shaves his opponents head.

6

Sweeney Todd
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Personally, I felt this movie was unwatchable, but how many good fictional barbers are there, really? Plus, it’s still Johnny Depp in a Tim Burton film, so this barber murderer gets a spot on this list.

5

Figaro
The Barber of Seville

 

The only thing I know about this opera is the part when the guy starts chanting “Figaro! Figaro! Figaro!” Editor’s Note: Why not enjoy a Woody Woodpecker version! It’s so much better!

4

Edward Scissorhands
Edward Scissorhands

Johnny Depp again, in yet another Tim Burton movie (only this one was watchable), staring as the weirdo Edward Scissorhands who takes one of the most obvious jobs for anyone who has scissors for hands.

3

Eddie
Barbershop

The wise-cracking Eddie (played by Cedric the Entertainer) took a note from Eddie Murphy in Coming to America and delivered a scene-stealing performance in this hit movie.

2

Enzo & Gino
Seinfeld

These two Edward Scissorhands-obsessed barbers only made one appearance on Seinfeld but it was a memorable one as one of them kept giving Jerry a bad haircut and the other had to go behind his back to fix Jerry’s hair.

1

Clarence & Sweets
Coming to America

This is perhaps one of the top funniest scenes in all Eddie Murphy films, as he plays several loud and obnoxious characters in a New York barbershop, arguing over such classics as who’s the best boxer ever, and overcharging for single-snip haircut.

Honorable Mention

Ben Sumner
I have an unhealthy obsession with Muppets, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. I take out my frustrations on people on the hockey rink using traditional Korean martial arts. I'm prejudiced against hipsters.
Ben Sumner

@benjaminsumner

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