The Most Awesome Mustaches Ever
November is here, which means only one thing in the world of facial hair, it’s time to grow your Movember Mustache! If you aren’t aware, Movember refers to the annual cancer fighting fundraiser which encourages man to grow a mustache for 30 days as a walking, talking billboard for men’s health. This fabulous time of year got us thinking about famous mustachioed fellows… here’s a rundown of our favorites.
20) Albert Einstein
Einstein is a historical figure with a famous mustache. He’s probably better known for his brillance, but the mustache is the stuff of legends too.
What? An extra from a canceled-come-renewed animated show called Futurama listed with Mustachioed dudes? Damn right! It’s Scruffy! Sure, a background character, but who cares, he kicks ass.
18) Lanny McDonald
Although he’s likely not known very far beyond long time hockey fans, Lanny McDonald was a great player, and has one of the best mustaches in sports history, so he had to make our list.
Sure it’s just a logo on the side of a can of chips, but there is no denying how epic that mustache is. Imagine how awesome the Pringles guy would look in real life.
16) Mr. Monopoly
The most famous board game icon also has one of the most famous mustaches of all time. He’s been modernized in recent years, but the trademark stache is still prevalent.
15) Fu Manchu
How cool is this fictional psychopathic minion of evil? Not only is he cool enough to have a sick mustache, but a sick mustache famous enough to get a category all its own.
14) Teddy Roosevelt
Oddly, this mustachioed former president was the penultimate one to wear facial hair. We haven’t had one since. Weird. Anyway, his well-groomed lip broom is pretty famous.
13) Ned Flanders
Somehow, this devout (nearly to a fault) Christian seems to be even more lustful toward his own mustache than he ever was to his deceased wife, Maude. It looks like even the Lord has a little sinful competition against this awesome mouth bristle.
12) Hulk Hogan
From Super Nanny, to Three Ninjas, to Wrestling, Terry Bolea, aka. Hulk Hogan has been sporting his trademark mustache for just about ever. Sure, it’s gone from strawberry blond, to bleached, to evil black, but it’s still one of the most iconic of all time.
11) Rollie Fingers
Former pitcher Rollie Fingers has one of the most iconic mustaches in sports history. His mustache is so famous that when other people sport a handlebar mustache, it’s often invokes memories of Rollie Fingers.
10) Captain Kangaroo
Ah, Bob Keeshan you were a kind, doddering old fool who sought nothing more than to bring a little innocence into the world for the wee ones. Often with a barrage of ping pong balls. Oh, and your push-broom-like mustache.
9) John Oates
The 80’s as a whole seemed to be inundated with far too many musical acts who just couldn’t tread water long enough. However, of the ones who did stick around far past their recommended expiration dates, only Hall and Oates provided us with a band with a beautifully coiffed food broom. Thank you John Oates.
8) Ron Burgundy
His character is a lampoon of bad 80s television anchors, and they often had epic mustaches. So Anchorman’s Ron Burgundy makes #8 on our list.
7) Cleveland Brown
Ever since Cleveland was the token African American character on Family Guy with his squeaky, gravelly voice, we’ve come to know and love his ‘happy mustachioed face’. In fact, it’s just as funny on his spin off aptly named, The Cleveland Show.
6) Borat – Sacha Baron Cohen
Remember when this remarkably irritating actor’s 15-minutes weren’t up? Yeah, it was cool when he was all Borat and like, “It’s-a nice.” Right. We get it. Anyway, he’s got a mustache and everyone knows what it looks like, ergo: placement on this list.
5) Nick Offerman
Nick Offerman has probably one of the most well-known modern mustaches (as many of these other fellows have been famous much longer) but it’s still one of the best. He has also been a spokesman for Movember in the past.
4) John Waters
Ah, John Waters… what can we say about you and your pencil-thin mustache that hasn’t already been said. Hairspray, Cry-Baby, Serial Mom, Pecker and Cecil B. DeMented… need we say more? No, we needn’t.
3) Cheech and Chong
Sweet! A Double bill! Literally, separating these two is like trying to split an atom… wait. We’ve done that, haven’t we. Whatever you get the point. These two both had sweet amounts of facial hair and sure, Cheech’s might be a little more well known, but screw that. It’s Cheech and Chong!
2) Mario & Luigi
Quite possibly the most recognizable animated mustachioed guy in either video games or anywhere, Mario keeps it clean, scalloped, and lookin’ good. His mustache is pristine and perfect and it’s a wonder since all he does all day is smash turtles and mushrooms and hang around in pipes. Luigi’s stache is pretty iconic too.
1) Tom Selleck
Magnum mother-fuckin’ P.I. Easily the coolest mustache ever on one man. This fella’s mush brush could have taken on a life of its own, maybe in a show called ‘Mustache, P.I.’ Okay, that was lame… but I’d still count it better than half of the other shows on today! So there!