Ten Pictures That Would Make Awesome Movies

Sweet Halloween dreams 560x497So, some guy who used to work for Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson stumbled upon the illustration above on DeviantArt and successfully pitched it to New Line, and presto! — a feature-length movie was born, because nothing says blockbuster franchise like a teddy bear aiming a tiny wooden sword at Cloverfield while a kid sleeps. Right?

Nevertheless, this silly story inspired me to troll the net for other pictures and photos that would translate seamlessly to the big screen. Here are ten pics guaranteed to rake in huge cash.

No Ordinary White Trash

pictures trashPlot: Married first cousins Jerry and Tina’s life of drunken domestic violence and dinners at Hardees is turned upside down by the arrival of a black baby on their doorstep. Hilarity ensues.

Stalled

pictures stallPlot: James Franco plays Todd Kramer, a professional frat boy who finds himself trapped in a bathroom stall following a campus wide power outage. With only a pillow, toilet bowl cleaner and brush, Todd struggles to stay alive.

Dingle Berry: A Love Story

pictures sportsPlot: Two star football players form an intense “friendship” both on and off the field in the midst of a championship season. Will they give in to their hidden desires, or succumb to heterosexual prejudices?

Extremely Radical and Incredibly Far Out

pictures starryPlot: Based on Vincent Van Gogh’s post-impressionist masterpiece Starry Night, a ’70s era astronomer repeatedly drops acid while peering through his telescope. Starring Tommy Chong and directed by Gaspar Noe.

Scissors Envy

pictures scissorsPlot: Ten-year-old Jimmy’s art class drawing of scissors causes quite a stir at Bill Clinton Elementary. Is it freedom of expression or pornography? It’s the feel good penis joke movie of 2013.

Spy Fox

pictures fox 560x413Plot: Artist Juan Juarez’s iconic illustration is inspiration for the next great action franchise. Think Archer, except with a fox who plays the mandolin and chain smokes Faros cigarettes.

Teeter-Totter Massacre 3D

pictures teeterPlot: There’s a new neighborhood seesaw for boys and girls to enjoy. But fun and frivolity quickly turns gruesome when it’s discovered the teeter-totter was built atop a notorious serial killer’s grave.

Skank and the Deer Head

pictures mirrorPlot: Ribald comedy will never be the same after this scandalous romp. In order to pay her tuition, an industrious coed decides to stream her sexual trysts with a stuffed deer head named Kirby. It’s the horniest flick of the year!

The Man From Nantucket

pictures kidPlot: A well-endowed loser becomes a local hero after a night of heavy drinking ends with him demonstrating a unique skill. The Farrelly brothers return to prominence with this fantastic farce.

Coon and Poon

pictures coon 560x364Plot: Does this really require a synopsis? I didn’t think so. It’s unlikely the MPAA will clear it, so adult entertainment companies better brace for a pricey bidding war.

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