Ten Everyday Life Hacks for Everyone
Don’t leave it to other people to guide you through everyday life! Why look at TV or magazines for the answers to life when you can use these very Life Hacks to move ahead with you daily routine? Life Hacks are things you can do with stuff you have already at your house or outside. Below are ten that will help you live your best life, we swear.
Turn Your Used Plastic Cups Into a Razor
Plastic cups are great to have around the house, but darn it they take up a lot of trash space and sometimes the can get stuck around turtle’s heads or walrus’s genitals. So stop throwing away those disposable cups and turn them into inexpensive razor blades! Simply cut small squares out of the old cups, align several at a tiled angle, and duct tape to a plastic spoon! Lather up and shave your face, legs, neck, or armpits! It might take a few passes and will likely cause redness and/or scarring but hey: free razors!
Leftover Meat Grease Candle
Have you collected a few jars of beef tallow, pork grease, duck oil, and chicken schmaltz? Well, worry no more because you can use these globs of meat drippings to make household candles for emergencies or to just create the delicious odor of cooking animal right in your own home! Simply use the container your greasy blobs are already in, and show in a strip of cotton string to make a wick! Light and enjoy the tasty aromas of roasting animal byproduct all night and day!
Dead Pet Slippers
Your pets will die! That’s the sad truth of life and what are you going to do with their corpses? Well, most people bury them in the backyard but what good does that do? All you have then is a rotting dead body of something your family loved and cherished. So why not put your misery to good use and never lose the comfort and joy of having a small dog or cat, or even a rabbit or weasel! Simply remove the offending offal, stuff the carcass with old socks and wear them around the house on your feet! Comfy and practical!
Old Shirts Stuffed With Vacuum Bag = Toys!
Don’t wear your shirts until the armpits fall apart and the images of the state fairs from which you purchased them fade like the memories themselves… heck no! Instead, recycle both the shirts and the stuff inside your vacuum you’ve sucked up over the weeks! It’s fun and saves money and time! Sew up the holes including the arms, neck, and various cigarette burns and empty your vacuum right inside! Your kids will love their new toys and you will love the money you’ve saved! That’s quality!
Fruit Rind Toilet Wine
The one thing we all love about prisoners is that they are very creative with their time and can come up with many, many inventive things with their years behind bars. One of the things prisoners make with is called Toilet Wine! Prison toilets are notoriously filthy, but your’s isn’t and we all know there are always pounds and pounds of old fruit rinds and peels hanging around drawing flies! Take those pieces and make your own Shitter Sangria! All you need is time and patience and you will be rewarded with a delicious and healthy beverage!
What’s For Dinner? Cat Food!
Do you have a family cat? If you do then you have probably spent good money on cans of cat food with pictures of fish and chicken on them. Did you ever realize how potentially delicious and edible that food looks and smells? Well, trust us when we say many of the same ingredients within that food are perfectly safe for human consumption! Trout, hen, scrod, cock… all of those things are good for you and can be served to your family on fancy plates! Dinner is ready!
Saliva & Fish Oil Combine to Make Hair Gel
Do you know what a spit curl is? Sure you do! Superman has one and so can you! Spit and saliva have been known for years to be a very good hair tamer and has been used by mothers for generations as a way to hold down cowlicks, fly-aways, and frizzy mops!But fr a more permanent bond, use a little trick with the fish oil you already have in your pantry! Mix one teaspoon of oil with a good sized loogey and mix thoroughly, then spread on the affected head. Picture day will look just fine!
Do Your Feet Stink? Mustard!
Many of us out there have an issue with smelly feet when we get home from long days at work. Our shoes come off and the stench permeates our homes and assails our loved one’s nostrils and makes us all want to move out and take up go residence in another time zone. But there is a way to curtail said stench with a household good, and it’s mustard! That’s right, everyone! Put common, every-day yellow mustard on those rank feet and you will be happy go lucky! Simply smear it on with your hands and presto! No more stinky feet!
Whiten Your Teeth With Mud And Save!
Don’t go spending money on teeth whitening kits and pastes and mouth trays that simply do not work as advertised. Instead, you can use something that is already in your very own yard! Yes, mud! Mud always seems to be around, or you can also just use dirt with some water to make the same mud. With your own fingers or a toothbrush, smear the mud around your teeth getting between them and all over every surface. Then, with a chewing motion as you continue to brush it around, continue to move the mud all over your mouth. You will hear and feel some uncomfortable crunching. That means it’s working!
Grow Your Own Chia And Eat It!
The mysteries of Chia have been solved and you too can benefit from years of research. Chia is the new superfood and has been linked to healthier colons, duodenums, small intestines, and probably gall bladders. You will need a pack of Chia seeds and some form of porous shape on which you can spread the seeds and lots of water. Simply go to the store and buy a Chia Pet. Then grow it! Now eat the Chia on pizza, in tea, on toast, or mixed into ice cream! Chia!