Four Honest Condom Reviews

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Condoms are the bane of our existence. Sure they often prevent pregnancies and STDs, but who the hell wants to actually wear them? We feel your pain, brotha.   Still, they’re a necessary evil and we’ve done some dirty work to help determine the best of the bunch so you can wrap your tool and prevent yourself from being a fool.

Okamoto Crown “Skin Less Skin”

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Looks:
The pleasant silver and blue packaging makes me think of a calm day at sea. The bright pink condom however makes me think of uncooked pork tenderloin. Can’t more companies make these things translucent?

Feels:
At a low thickness of .0018”, it’s like a romp through the wetlands.

Ease of use:
It tears easily (the packaging not the condom) and then goes on easily (the condom not the packaging).

Overall:
Although they call this “Skin Less Skin” (with broken English, but thankfully not broken products) there really isn’t a big difference. There may be a bit more initial lubrication, but if you’re doing things right in the first place, you won’t need that anyway.

Durex “Enhanced Pleasure”

Looks:
Like a regular thin condom.

Feels:
A little of column A, a little of column B.

Ease of use: 
Ready. Set. Go!

Overall:
It doesn’t get all bunched up or lost at sea and it’s definitely durable as the brand name states. But the “enhanced pleasure” depends on your… ahem…. angle.

Beyond Seven “Aloe”

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Looks:
As thin as it feels.

Feels:
As thin as it looks.

Ease of use:
Easy installation

Overall:
The first time — a great condom for guys who let the urgency of a junior high game of seven minutes in heaven creep its way into their love life. At first, it feels like wearing nothing at all, but not long after loses its aloe-infused lubrication and that extra edge goes along with it. Think Bubble Yum: an explosion of flavor for the first 200 chews followed by rubbery disappointment. The second time — worked like a charm. A well-lubricated charm.

Lifestyles “Assorted Colors” (or “The Kind That Planned Parenthood Has in Stock”)

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Looks:
With lively lime green packaging and a banana yellow condom, at first glance this looks more like party favor than prophylactic.

Feels:
Like thick, unforgiving rubber.

Ease of use:
With the easiest package ripping of any condom ever, this one is for the speed demons (or at least for guys that don’t have a fluffer on standby).

Overall:
Some condoms are his pleasure, some are hers. This one is neither, so if this is all you got you’d better make sure you bring your A-game. When compared to its much more sensitive brethren this is a condom for guys who have timing issues. I know it’s not advertised as a sensation reducer, but if this is what normal condoms are like then you’ll want to stick with a nice pack of ultra-thins.

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